Hold Onto Me

I have been writing poems and stories since I was in elementary school.  I love to write and I love words.  Anytime I write I have a dictionary and thesaurus nearby.  Even if I already know the definition of a word, I enjoy looking it up and reading the synonyms.  Words mean a lot to me; they are powerful and so full of meaning. 

I recently read A Praying Life, by Paul Miller.  This is such a good book, and was so helpful to me.  In it he talks about how God is weaving a story through our lives.  He talks about looking for the pieces of this story in our day-to-day life.  He tells so many stories about his own family, and it’s one of my favorite parts of the book.  He has a daughter that can’t speak, and they spent years praying for her to be able to speak.  At one point he wanted to write a book (not this one) and he said he clearly heard God tell him to wait.  “How can you write about speaking when Kim (his daughter) can’t speak?”  So he put the book on hold. 

Since then, Kim now has a speech computer, and is finally able to speak and communicate.  And he was able to write his book.  God was weaving this story in his life, and it was so personal to him and his family.  Being a writer myself, I began looking for a story in my own life.  This idea was so thrilling to me.  What is God doing?  How is He working?  But I could never quite put the pieces together. 

On the very first day of Redemption Groups, last spring, I shared my story.  I shared of how God has given me a name for specific abuse that I have endured.  He gave me a name for my anxiety and depression.  And my friend Danyelle told me that she was hopeful that God would give me a name for myself.  What He calls me.

Words.

The story God is weaving throughout my life is words.  He is literally speaking my language.  It is so personal and intimate.  And it comes full circle.  In the past, people have used words to hurt me and tear me down.  But my Father uses words to heal me.  Words!  Of course!  He knows me so deeply.  He connects  with me on such a personal level.  What the enemy means for evil, He uses it for my good!  And His glory!

And He did give me a word for myself.  Looking back over my life I see his faithfulness stamped all over it.  He never left my side.  In the darkest night, He was there.  Holding me.  He calls me Held!  He has been holding me all my life.  Protecting me.  Caring for me.  I am held.  In the middle of a depression so deep I couldn’t see a way out, I cried “hold onto me!”  And He did. 

Words.  God uses them to bring me back to Himself.  To His faithfulness.  He uses them to speak truth and healing over my brokenness.  He created me to be a lover a words, and uses that to connect with me in a way that no one else can.

What does God call you? Have you ever asked Him?
Have you ever thought about the story that God is weaving in your life?